Torment
by Emitique
Summary: People see him as a bundle of happiness and joy, he sees hiself as the most miserable person on the face of the earth, and Omi might be right about that. Reminiscing about his past, we take a look at what he had in mind. A little bit dark weird
1. Dead

Disclaimer- I don't own Weiβ Kreuz or any of its characters. I am only writing a story about them so please don't sue me.

Author's Note- Hello to all of you. I wrote this story because I've always felt the need to write a dark story about my favorite character. I'm quite new to writing so please bear with me…

**- Torment - **

By Emitique 

"….Đead…."

It hurts…….

I have always felt this way. As far as I remember, happiness was never meant for me. Fate is just cruel isn't it? Or at least MY fate is….

People who were just looking at me from afar when I was young must've thought that I was extremely lucky because I belonged to a happy, loving family, that I had siblings that supported me, that my father had always loved me, and that my mother was willing to fight for me….

….Well if you are one of those people, you are making a big mistake if those were the things you had in mind.

The family I belonged to wasn't happy and definitely not loving, it was twisted and demented. My older siblings didn't support me; they were always treating me like a weakling and shoving me aside. But I think there was a time that they weren't like that; I can even vaguely remember them smiling at me, but papa made sure our good sibling relationship with each other wouldn't last. My father was always busy leading us -or rather forcing us- to do things that would give him more power. He never loved me; on the contrary he hated me with every strand of fiber that made up his body. My mother couldn't fight for me, she was far too submissive for her own -and also my- good. But I never blamed her; I knew that she loved me, more than anyone in that household…. It hurt back then

And with a family like that, I was beginning to think that I would give anything just to get away from them all….

……I got my wish! One day, some unknown men came –more likely they snuck- into the compounds of our place and took me away with them! Can you believe it! I was finally being dragged out of that hell-hole I was supposed to call my home! I was so happy back then!

At least, that was what I was supposed to think if I haven't found out that they were actually kidnappers that were trying to get a hold of some famous rich guy's child to demand a BIG ransom for their kid's safety. It wasn't quite how I pictured my "great escape" would turn out to be.

To tell you the truth I was scared of those men, and at that point I wanted nothing more that to be returned home, even if home wasn't very homey.

At least no one there tried to take my life away. They prefer to torture me mentally and emotionally by pretending that I don't exist, treating me as if I was not a part of their family. Papa would only pass me by, like I was air and since my brothers are under papa's control, they eventually did the same

But I was taken good care of the maids there. They would play with me from time to time. Sometimes they were even the ones that tuck me in at night. Perhaps they only did it out of pity but I appreciated it; they were the only ones that would talk to me except for mama, but mama always do what papa tells her to and that resulted in her spending so little time with me. But I had the maids to keep me company so I was still able to smile. Even though I only smiled in order to be nice to the maids and not let all of their efforts for being concern about me go in vain.

But still, showing off fake smiles hurts...

And so were back on me being kidnapped. The scary people called my ever loving father and demanded a ransom, but the old geezer refused to negotiate with them. Hey what'd you expect? He just received the golden opportunity to get rid of me without tainting his "good name" did you think he was going to pass that up? You bet your last piece of pocky he wouldn't.

After papa made it clear to them that he doesn't fucking care what happens to me, the scary men formulated the only possible option left for them; kill me….

It was easy to guess that this is how my life will end anyways. Dying without even being able to feel happy or at least getting rid of this feeling of hurt that I have inside. It was how fate planned my miserably lonely life to end, there was nothing left for me to do but accept it…

….But still, I couldn't stop those tears from flowing out of my eyes. Did I fear death that much? No, I wasn't crying because I was afraid of dying; I was crying because I never had the chance to live life to its extent. I never even experienced real happiness or even mere contentment. My life was a living hell, and now I'm going to live this world without having the chance to improve it. I believe that was the real reason why I was crying.

As I sat at that corner, waiting for my final moment to come; I couldn't help but feel so sorry for myself. I was drowned in self pity at that time. Ever since I can remember I was always sad, afraid, lonely, or hurt. Most people who are about to die remember things that are pleasant from times of their life, the things that they will miss once they are gone. But I wasn't one of them, because there was never a time of pleasantness in my life, and now that it's about to end I couldn't even squeeze up a single memory of pleasantry to make the overwhelming pain I feel inside ease up, even just a little bit. There's no use worrying about it now, it's all too late…

I was waiting for the whole world to go black, for that blow that will take me away from this cruel world, for my final breath to stop, for my heart to seize beating…. But none of them came.

The dim light that was illuminating the room we were in suddenly went out. I could hear some voices speaking, shouting, even screaming in pains of agony, but I couldn't see anything. Because of the fuss that was going on, I felt the rush of panic in me rise up, I never even noticed that my binds were cut and my limbs were free until I was pulled along by a man and we started running.

A lot of things were running through my head at that time so I didn't protest as the man dragged me along with him. I don't care where he's taking me as long as it's away from those guys that want to kill me. "_The longer I stay alive, the longer time I have to maybe find a shot at living a REAL life"_ that was what I told myself back then.

After I was rescued, I was brought to a big place that had different kinds of rooms; I even saw some firearms on display in the glass cases by the wall, the others had some sort of weapons inside them that I don't know what to call. I didn't see much people inside. The walls, floor, and doors were all painted white it almost hurts my eyes to look at them.

The man that rescued me continued on walking while holding my hand so I had no choice but to follow. We went inside one of the rooms and I saw a tall lady with red hair bow to him. He finally let goes of my hand and sits on the big chair behind the desk. He looked at me and told me that my name from then on will not be Takatori, Mamoru anymore, he said that that name and the person who owns it is now dead. He gave me a new name- Tsukiyono, Omi, the name that I will be using from now on. The name sounds alright, and I wouldn't exactly want to back to my miserable life so why did I get the feeling that things will not get better from then on? None the less, I nodded my head at the man that saved my life and he smiled at me and said:

"Welcome to Kritiker, Tsukiyono Omi…"

Those words marked the greatest turning point in my life.

The next day I found out that the red haired lady is called Manx and the man was called Persia. Of course I thought they were weird names but I didn't voice out my opinion. I never really talked to them unless I really have to. I was told that I will have to attend classes. Back when I was still called Mamoru, I had classes too, but the classes they were making me take were totally different. I had different instructors for different classes. I had to learn different kinds of languages, I was made to take up geometry, algebra, calculus and trigonometry during the age of eight, I was being taught the human anatomy, I had lessons on assembling and using various kinds of weapons (and darts became my forte), I was taught hand to hand combat, I was also drilled on computer knowledge. I wasn't sure why I was doing all of those things but I didn't care that much. All I focused on back then was doing my best and learn everything I can. Maybe because of after sometime of doing nothing but my training, I forgot all about what and who I used to be before I started these unusual classes of mine. All I knew then was that I am being trained to be a person that is not of the ordinary.

Why was I continuing on with that? Because I know that have nothing else that I could've done. There was nowhere else that I could've gone to. The only thing I knew how to do, and the only thing I knew where to go was in that place where I trained to be something I'm not sure I would be thrilled to become…

After almost three years of training, I was given a codename- Bombay. After that I was sent out to do what I was trained to do… to kill.

My first target was a woman. With the information they handed me I found out that she is an illegal recruiter. She goes for the young ladies that have dreams of making it into show business. She tells them fraud promises and makes them follow her orders. She then directs them go to certain place where the girls are supposed to undergo an audition, but in reality they are all gathered up there to be tools for the pleasure of various men who wants feisty and unwilling girls as hussies.

She was a bad person, and I never liked that kind.

She wasn't hard to track; I found her one night in an empty parking lot. She was about to open the door to her mustang car when I revealed myself and looked up to her with my cerulean eyes. She was startled at first but calmed down as she came to realize that I was just a young child. She probably didn't see me as a threat. She doesn't know how big of a mistake that was….

It was over in a mere 15 seconds. I lifted the crossbow I had concealed in my clothes and pointed it to the person in front of me. She didn't even had the chance to get out of the shock of seeing me; a child, holding up a weapon and pointing it at her. I acted quickly and pulled the trigger before she had the chance to utter a word. I aimed at her left chest and fired away. She fell down and her blood splattered all over the ground some of her blood flicked to my right check from the impact when I released the ammo and it burrowed into her body.

I didn't feel any different after I launched the dart into her chest. I didn't feel any panic or uncomfortable within myself. It was like nothing really happen, and I haven't just finished shooting someone with a dart on the heart.

I was about to turn and walk away but I heard the woman I just shot struggle talk.

"W-wh-why?"

I look down at her and offer no answer, instead I raised my weapon again and fired another shot; to her throat this time. After some time of her not moving, it was safe to say that she is indeed dead. I turn and walk away from the scene of the crime that I committed.

I went towards the car that was waiting for me to return from my first job. I went inside and the driver took me back to the building where I spent years training how to kill.

When we pulled over to the building, I came out of the car immediately and went inside my sleeping quarters. I went to the bathroom to take a shower and wash off the blood that splattered unto me. After that I changed to my pajamas and climbed to my bed.

As I waited for sleep to take over my consciousness, I found myself thinking back to what my first target said before I took away her life entirely… _'Why?'_ I didn't give her my answer back there, but the reason why I did it is

"-because they told me you are a bad person, and I DON'T forgive the bad ones…"

In spite of the reason I said to myself aloud. I still feel something wet and warm drip down my cheeks_. 'Tears? I've never cried since the time I was about to die, so why am I crying now?'_ I forcefully closed my eyes and willed the tears away.

But deep down inside, I knew the reason why I cried. It was because by killing someone, my innocence and real life died along with her. I was now officially DEAD…

Author's Note- Well, what do you think? Let me know by dropping a review, I don't handle flames very well but if that's what you think I deserve I might be able to accept it. I need to roast some peanuts anyway. Hope you liked it and I'm looking forward to any reviews.

Emi-chan -


	2. Alone

– Troment –

By: Emitique

"….Alone.…"

I hate this…

Suffering…

All alone…

I hate being so miserable all by myself. I hate always trying to be as strong as possible because I know that no one will be there for me when I break down. I hate standing up for myself all the time. I hate tending to my own wounds when I get injured during a job. I hate forcing my tears not to fall because I know no one will wipe them away for me.

I hate not having someone to talk to. I hate not having anybody to cry on. I hate not having anybody around to smile with. I hate not having someone around to tell I'm glad I'm not alone.

That's why I was so happy when _He _came into my life.

I was just finishing target practice with one of my instructors, I don't know why they even bother to have someone with me while practicing that thing when they know I'm excellent at doing it already, besides all the instructor do is stand there and watch me throw darts. They're not even helping boost morale. All they do is make you uneasy by watching your every move by their exploratory eyes, thought it's only perturbing the first three months or so, by now I'm used to them. Anyway, as I was already leaving the target practice area, the guy told me that Persia wanted to see me in his office before I withdraw for the day, and so before I came to my room I went to his office first.

I knocked on that fancy door of his that stands out from all the other doors because of the carvings and well varnished look it bore. As soon as I heard "come in" from the other side, I opened the door, stepped inside and closed the door behind me.

"You wanted to see me sir?" I voiced levelly.

"Ah, yes I certainly did Bombay" he replied as he turned his executive chair around to face me. Maybe it was just me, but I though I heard him say my codename more firmly than he did with the other words he voiced out. "I want you to meet someone."

"Meet someone?" I repeated his word, not quite sure if I heard him right.

"Yes, I believe he'll be here shortly…" he paused as he looked at his wristwatch. Typical behavior for someone like him, after all time is crucial in his position for our type of work. He looked at me and motioned to one of the waiting chairs "Why don't you take a seat?"

I do as I was told and waited for the person I was supposed to meet. The moment passed in silence. And I thought that was how things were going to stay until my boss spoke.

"I've heard from your instructors that you are doing pretty well in all of your subjects."

I was quite surprised to hear him talk, and ask about me none the less. I was expecting him to stay quiet the whole time we waited. I look at him and try scan his face for any trace of proof to be sure that I really was the one he was talking to. After some time of staring at him and him looking back at me, I was pretty much sure by then that I was indeed the one he was talking to.

"H-hai." I replied. Stuttering as I tried to sped my response up.

"That's good. It would be a problem if you have any shortcomings in any aspects in your line of profession. Well done, keep up the good work."

What? Now I'm being praised? It's the first time I've heard him do that. …And I kind of like it actually, at least he recognized all of my hard work, and I kind of feel like I'm appreciated for once.

"Hai…" I again said to him Unable to come up with a better answer, so I ended up just agreeing with him.

A while after our little conversation ended. A knock on the door sounded up. Persia said "Come in" and then the door opened up and revealed Manx standing by the door. She bowed down politely to Persia before she turned to her side and motioned for some one to come in. Probably the person I am supposed to meet.

I was expecting this "someone" to be another instructor for another subject. But by his looks I doubt that he came to this building with the purpose of teaching me. He looked a lot younger than any of the people I've seen inside this facility. He had brown chocolate hair and teal colored eyes

… Looking more closely to his eyes, I see something that resembles sorrow in them. That somehow told me he might have experienced something horrible. Just then something clicked inside of me.

Something horrible? He's suffering maybe?

Kind of like how I've been feeling.

I was snapped out of my musings when Manx spoke.

"I've brought him as you requested sir." She said as she gestured a hand towards the new brunet who just stands there with the same hurtful look in his eyes.

"Yes, thank you." Persia politely replied with a nod. They're always so formal. Everyone inside this facility is like that. That's why I don't have acquaintances here, much less friends.

Yes I do smile when I greet or see others buts that's as far as that. They never smile back. They nod or just ignore and pass by me without even a response. But still my smile never falter, I don't know why it doesn't though. It feels like I'm used to giving away smiles since I was little. A nostalgic feeling tells me that, but I never bother to put too much thought to my past. The last time I did it my head ached like hell.

"Omi, I want you to meet Hidaka Ken." I heard Persia say. I stand up to be polite and bow slightly to the new guy. "Ken. This is Tsukiyono Omi." Then it was the brunet's turn to bow. "From now on, the two of you will be partners."

That statement caused me to turn and look at my boss. Is he saying this for real? I'm going to be assigned a partner? I know some people in this place work in teams, but I've always thought they would let me continue on doing solo missions. It took me by surprise. I would've never thought that they were going to get me a partner. Was it because I'm not good enough? No, Persia just said that I'm doing well, so then why offer me someone to be of help?

"You two will be the starting members of the new elite group of Kritiker. Together you will be called Weiss." Persia announced.

"Weiss?" I heard Ken ask. It was the first time I heard his voice. And as I suspected, he is younger than the average person you'll come across with in this place. Even his voice sounds that way. If I'll have to guess, I'll say he's about two years older than me.

"Yes, Weiss… That's what you'll be called as a team. But it won't stay just the two of you for long. Sooner or later we'll find others that is suited to be part of Kritiker's elite team." Persia said informatively. He keeps saying "elite". Does it mean that the two of us tare the best in this whole organization? I'll have to admit, that's rather flattering.

…Although I would be more flattered if the thing that I'm so good at isn't killing people. No, I shouldn't think like this now. We're in the middle of something important. Besides, I kill not because I want to; I kill because I have to… I have to, or else the bad ones will be free to roam around and cause other people pain. Other INNOCENT people…

Now back to business. What was it Persia said so far? I'm being assigned a partner, and we're going to be called Weiss… Hmmm, oh right, he also said that there will be others joining us sooner or later. I side glanced at the brunet I'm going to be working with from now on. His face tells that he still has questions inside his head but he's deciding against voicing them out, or maybe having difficulty putting them into words. Well if he's not going to say anything, I better be the one to do it for him.

"Ano, Persia-san?…" I said to call out the man's attention. Hopefully he can provide answers to my questions.

"Yes Bombay?" he answered back. Oh just great, he's calling me by my codename again. It makes me feel like they're going to send me out again to kill whenever they call me that. I hold back the shiver I felt when I heard my codename and proceeded on with asking my question.

"When you said 'sooner or later' approximately how long will that be?"

"Well it depends on how long it takes for us to locate people with matching high qualities as the two of you." He said.

As good as the two of us huh? I wonder what Ken really is capable of. He's one of the elite so he must be pretty good. And just where in heaven's name can they find others like us? It's not my problem anyway, so I'll leave them to worry about it.

"I see…" I responded back.

"Now if you boys will excuse me, I'm late for a meeting. Manx will explain the rest to you. See you boys tomorrow." And true to his word, the man left with one final nod to the three of us left in the room.

I turned back to face the two other person left beside me in the office. Persia said that Manx will explain the rest right? Manx smiled at both Ken and me and said

"So, let's get down to business gentlemen." Again with the formalities, but when the words come from her, they sound more… -gentle? in a way. Not as hard and cold as the words get when they come from our boss.

Ken and I sat down beside each other while the redhead lady stood a fair distance in front of us. She's obviously getting ready to relay us the information that was intended for us to know. She cleared her throat once and began with her explanation.

"As you both know, the organization we belong to, Kritiker, is not just an ordinary organization. We exist as a large group of people working together to rid the country of criminals that are able to dodge the arms of the law. We fight in order to amplify what little peace is left of this world. " She started off.

I know all of that already. I take those things by heart. They're the things that convince me that I kill for the good of others. That I'm not just a cold blooded murderer. That I'm not loosing a piece of myself every night I take out someone's life. She need not remind me of those things for I now them very well…

"But try as we might, we just can't diminish crime rates at the satisfactory number they needed be…" she then looked downcast and I see her quiver slightly as her hands form tight fists.

I understand how she feels. She really wants real peace to exist around. I want that too. So all of the sufferings and pain people get would be over. Then maybe by then I won't be hurt as much anymore.

Her head shot up and a determined look crossed her face. "That's why we need people like the two of you to continue on fighting to gain true peace." That one had an impact inside of me. Like I was convinced to be an assassin all over again

"You'll need to be trained as a team. You'll learn to work and cooperate with each other. From now on you'll be doing training together. With the two of you working together, we have a better chance at fighting our enemies. Of course the missions you'll be sent to will be a lot harder than the ones you had when you were still on solo flight. But since you're working together it won't make a problem." She said with the same determination her voice held when she started.

I see why they do this now. When I was still doing solo missions, most of the guys I took down were small timers. Some of them were just street rats actually. It's not often I get assigned to take down a big time smuggler or drug lord or even kidnappers. That's because Kritiker is also looking out for their agents' well being. They first make sure the job is within the capabilities of the agents before they send them out.

The problem lies there, sometimes the research and tracking down of criminals take so long that the bad guys are able to commit more crimes before they are put to a stop. That's why they want us to work as partners, because it will increase the probability of success.

My eyes must've lit up because Manx notice that I was getting what she's saying.

"Now you're realizing the point, aren't you Omi?" she asked me, and I nod my head at her.

"You want to partner train us to be more efficient and be able to do work better. That way our rate of success will rise up compared to doing missions individually." I confirmed to her to show her that I really did comprehend her explanation.

"Exactly…" she agreed "I take it you also understand things now, Siberian?" she continued to ask as she looked at the person beside me. So Ken's codename is Siberian huh? It suits him, just as well as my codename suits me.

Ken nodded his brunet head as an acknowledgement that he has no further questions about our discussion.

I continue to look at him from where I'm seated. So this is the guy I'll have to work with from now on? He seems… different from the others. Because all the other people here seem to distance theirselves away from me. Why they do that, I don't know. Some are probably jealous because they know that I'm already one of those at the top even though I'm still young. Others respect the fact that I'm above them so they tend to show their respect by not treating me as their equal.

I hate that feeling they bestow me everytime they continue to go farther away. But I can't feel any kind of those feelings from Ken. This guy seems so open and welcoming. His face tells me that he doesn't plan on pushing me away, unlike the others. I actually look forward to working with him

"So…" I hear my new partner beside me say and then turned to face me. "We start training together tomorrow right?" he said as he looked at me and smiled.

That was the first time someone else smiled at me. His smile was so warm and welcoming. Like what a friend would give another friend. I smile at everyone in this place, yet I receive nothing in return, and to think that I haven't smiled at him yet that evening and he already gave me his. He certainly is different… and I like that about him.

"Unn!" I said enthusiastically and put on my best smile for him.

I was really happy back then. Because I knew that I was no longer alone. I don't have to suffer on my own anymore.

Author's Note: To tell you the truth I wasn't really planning to add another chapter to this story. I was thinking of leaving it as a one shot, but this chapter entered my mind and it kept nagging me to write it. So the new change of plans occurred. I'm probably going to make this into a three or four chaptered story. Thanks for reading!


	3. Shattered Lives

**Discalimer: **I don't own Weiβ Kreuz. This is a non-profitable story, made just out of fun and admiration for the series. Please don't sue me.

**Author's note: **Finally, I'm done with chapter III. This may seem a bit Ken/Omi-ish and Yohji/Aya-ish. Depends on how you look at it. .SPOILER WARNING. Please Read and Review…

* * *

-Torment-

By: Emitique

"….Shattered Lives…."

* * *

A broken dream…

That was what Ken had to go through.

He had to undergo all of those accusations and humiliations for a crime he never even dreamt of committing, much less actually doing it.

It must have been devastating. For people to take you away from playing the one sport you've loved with a passion all your life, and be blamed for cheating and staining the good name of the said sport.

He suffered the pain of having the people around him constantly blame him for a thing he never did. The worst part being that no matter how hard he tried, he never managed to clear up his name. He went into this sort of business still having people believe that he's a cheater.

I found all of that out even before he decided to tell me.

Manx gave me the details about Ken's life and his background. She said that I should learn everything about him and figure out a way on how we can both work as well as possible.

She said that I should know everything about him and make necessary adjustments to be able for us to match in work and attitude properly. Why I was the one to do all of that, I didn't know. But Ken did say once, that he was told to just follow my suggestions for everything to be alright. So I guess out of the two of us, I was to be the coordinator.

But as it turned out, I would've found out about Ken's past whether Manx have told me or not. Because Ken confided them to me after the first mission we did together.

I didn't quite know how he ended up spurting the details about his past tragedy, but it might have something to do with us talking about how long we were already in our line of work. Of course he was a bit shocked when I told him that ever since I could remember, I was already taking up training lessons on how to kill, but he believed me nonetheless.

And so as our conversation went on, he told me that he never would've guessed his whole life that he'd end up as a vigilante trying to make a better place for people to live on by killing evil persons, but as he said, it could be worse; he could already be dead by now.

He said that the reason he started to train and work for Kritiker was because after they rescued him from certain death out of being burnt alive, they offered him the job and he accepted.

"Why did you accept it?"

It was the question that started everything… After I asked that, he seemed to fall into deep thought. As if he was also asking himself the question I asked him.

"Hmmm… _Why_, you say?"

At that point I almost want to take my question back because he looked like he was uncomfortable with it, but I didn't made it on time… He answered before I could take it back.

"I guess I was thinking 'Why the hell not? My life sure is already fucked up, and I have nowhere else to go...' You see Omi, playing soccer was everything to me. I grew in an orphanage and the only thing I ever owned back then was a ball given to me by one of the nuns. I started playing with it since then and with practice I've gotten very good. I love playing soccer. It's kind of my escape from the harsh outside world. When I'm playing in the field, that's when I most feel like I'm alive…. So without it, I'm as good as dead."

Ken looked really happy when he was talking about soccer. I kind of envy him, he has, or rather, he HAD a thing he really considers that is very important. I have nothing of a sort. I liked listening to his story. It brought me a pleasant feeling, knowing that he really loved something and have had nice times with it kind of lifted my spirits up…

Even though I know I would never have the chance to experience the things he had, listening to stories of him made me at least thankful that I've heard what it's like to live happily.

He continued on telling me about his life and I simply listened. But his life wasn't always smiles and running on green fields. He also had some bad times. The worst of which was when he found himself drugged during one of the most important games of the play-offs. His teammates blamed him for their loss and didn't believe his explanation of not feeling well during the game. The game officials accused him of cheating and making his team lose on purpose and suspended him from playing. Press reporters from all over were trying to get a testimony out of him. And nasty rumors about him being a cheater made its way to the public and the soccer industry.

As he revealed the troubles he encountered back then, to me. I was amazed how he never seemed to be on the edge of holding tears in. He didn't even seem to be hurt while talking. The look his eyes held was a blank, empty look.

I didn't like the look I was seeing on his face back then. I liked it better when he was talking about soccer, his face seemed happy then. But when he started talking about that game where in he was drugged, he seemed like nothing more than a machine telling the happenings of that awful event. No emotion can be traced from his face. Maybe he was just holding his feelings inside to keep himself from getting even more hurt… But still

That look on his face reminded me of the look everyone else in that organization had. A look of feeling nothing... Was Ken going to turn into one of those people too? Will he begin to ignore and pass me by too? NO, I don't want that. I can't handle that.

I finally found a friend and just after a story he'll also turn into one of those… those zombies?! That can't happen… I don't want to loose Ken.

"Omi, hey it's okay… You don't have to cry."

What? Was I crying? I guess that justifies how much I want Ken to stay the way he is. I think he thought the reason I was crying was because I felt sad for him due to his past tragedy… Not that it wasn't true… it was part of the truth, but not the biggest part.

I didn't reply to Ken's words. Instead I continued on crying… After a moment I felt his arms around me. He was trying to comfort me, a sign that he won't be leaving me. I was so relieved but all I could do was lean on him, and continue to cry some more.

Ken and I easily got along with each other. I came to know him as a fun loving and friendly guy. He was the closest thing to a friend I ever had. I had the chance to laugh and have fun when he came around. He seemed to be a very convivial person.

And I think that one of the reasons he's so friendly with me is because of that he didn't want to be a loner. He needs to be with someone he can feel a sense of belongingness with. And since I'm the closest person around, he tended to befriend me.

But who am I to judge him? I feel just the same way as him. I too, am getting tired and fed up of being on my own...

After many months of us being in work together, we performed excellently during all of our missions. We were called the elite by everyone. Even I was stunned by how well we work together. But I was starting to wonder when the other members we were told of before will start to join us.

Just as we were to start our special lessons about plant and flower care, the two of us were introduced to our newest teammate. Kudou Yohji, the man came in to our green house accompanied with Manx the day Ken and I were supposed to start learning about flowers, because we were to be relocated to work undercover in a flower shop.

His looks practically screamed "ADULT". Yohji was a lot taller than both Ken and I and his eyes seemed to tell that he have experienced things we haven't yet. Nonetheless, he gave us a friendly smile, more accurately a grin… but it was a friendly grin.

"Bombay, Siberian… I would like you two to meet Yohji, also known, from now on, as Balinese."

"Hey there!" greeted the tall man from behind Manx as he waved.

He was friendly alright. Seemed like he was a cheerful person too. I smiled at him and Ken waved back feebly. He seemed like an easy-enough person to get along with. Maybe he'll be my friend too.

Just like Ken's the details about Yohji's life were revealed to me by Manx. He was a former private detective. He joined our organization after he was also rescued by Kritiker from a nearly fatal attack from his and his partner's latest case. Unfortunately his partner, who was also his lover died in that incident.

Lover… Lover… Love-

He lost his loved one. The person who completed him, his other half… It must've hurt a lot; watching her fade away.

Not being able to stop her from disappearing. Being right there, so near …and yet not being strong enough to make a change.

Being useless and not able to save her. To save the one person in your life that you value the most.

The person you love…

Love… Maybe that's the thing I saw in his eyes the first day I met him. The thing I haven't experienced yet LOVE.

Is that what makes him an adult? The reason why some people still call me a child?

I stopped my string of thoughts. I shouldn't be worried about things like love anyway. Love is only meant for those that deserve it. The clean, innocent ones, not the blood stained persons like me. I have other things I should be doing. Like plan the strategy for our next mission. After all, that's all I'm good for, KILLING…

Spending a few days with Yohji made it easy for me to know him, the _real _him. Unlike Ken, he preferred not talking about his past. He wants to keep everything locked up inside him and not open up to anyone. Of course, it won't do much of a change to me whether he tells me or not, 'cause I know about his past and I can see through him.

Behind those grins he flashes to everyone he passed by. Behind those jokes he tells in attempt to make people around him laugh. Behind those teases he throws to make people see he's friendly and intimate. All of those are just parts of his mask that he wears.

He wants people to believe that he is the one who will come to them; he doesn't want people to come near to him. He doesn't want to get very personal with other people. He doesn't want to establish any deep relations with anybody. That's why he treats everyone the same. He doesn't want anybody to be special to him. And he pulls on the act of being friendly to avoid any people worrying about him. If people start to get worried about him, they'll come to him and he'll have difficulty pushing them away.

Maybe all of those are the result of when he lost Asuka. He's trying he's best to not get too close to anybody for he knows what it was like to lose someone very dear. I don't blame him for doing it. But I don't think that if I were him, that I'll ever be able to do the same. I've always been alone, and now that I have friends, I won't let them go. No matter what happens, I'm keeping them…

The three of us were relocated out of Kritiker's main building and into a flower shop. We started our first day and I was surprised how many people came on our grand opening, most of them, if not all are girls. They seem to like us, at least we attract and not repel customers, could be a good sign for business.

The three of us started to get used to working at the shop at day and doing missions at night. It was hard at first, being forced to work during day time with so little or no sleep at all. But we handled things somehow. Working on shifts really helped a lot.

I was made to attend the local school due to undercover purposes. After all, it would be weird to see someone my age, working at a shop and not going to school. School was nice. I met a lot of people and made some acquaintances. Because of my pre education back at Kritiker, I had no trouble on my classes even if I often miss lessons due to our night jobs.

Our life continued on like that for a while. I was starting to get used to it. I can see that Ken and Yohji are also making the most of not being under the constant watch of Kritiker too. Ken usually goes out at afternoons to play and teach soccer with the neighborhood kids, while Yohji goes out during every night that we don't have missions to scout thee night town for some, as he terms it, "fun". I thought we were going to continue on like that from then on. But something I haven't expected happened.

One day, Manx came in with Weiβ's fourth member, Fujimiya Aya. Of course I had doubts when I first heard his name. It was unusual for a guy to bear a girl's name after all. But he offered no explanation so I didn't bother asking. Odds are I'll find out about it anyway. He's going to be a part of my team in any case. Aya was taller than ken but shorter than Yohji, he had scarlet red hair. And all I could see in his face was a scowl that says "I'm not so friendly". He is quite the opposite of Yohji whose first impression to me was the contrary of Aya's.

We were all down on the basement which we termed "The Mission Room" since we use that room when we are handed our missions and for preparations for the mission. The three of us, Ken, Yohji, and me were seated down while Manx stood in front of us and Aya stayed by the staircase leaning to the wall.

"I would like the three of you to meet Fujimiya, Aya. Codename Abyssinian. He's your fourth and final member."

The three of us looked at the new guy's direction and we got out of him was

"Hnn…"

"Not a man of many words, I see…" Yohji said which made Ken snicker a bit while I just smiled weakly.

"Ahem…" Manx cleared her throat to try and get back our attention. We all, including Aya, looked at her and she continued "Boys, you four are the official members of Kritiker's special elite squad… We're expecting a lot of things from you, Weiβ." Manx finished with a stern look from her eyes.

Manx also gave me the details about Aya. Although his file contained much less than Yohji's and Ken's. As if not everything about him is included in the files. I went and asked Manx about it, but she only said that Aya had that condition set up before he agreed to join Weiβ. Apparently the man didn't want many things about his past going in the knowledge of others.

Aya settled in his own room and he became a member of our "home". Although after it had been several days, he still won't have a conversation with the rest of us. He was pretty much a loner. I was always having second thoughts whenever I try to talk to him. I try to converse with him but he always manages to brush things off and go to someplace else just to avoid talking with me. Ken hadn't bothered to try and communicate with Aya at all, he said he's not good at dealing with a guy that never smiles and whose attitude is ice cold. On the brighter side, Yohji seems to be having better luck when it comes to connecting with Aya than Ken and I.

Yohji's mask of friendliness and Aya's cold exterior seemed to mix quite smoothly. Aya always puts up with Yohji's lame jokes and can even retaliate to Yohji's teasings with his own cold remarks. It's kind of ironic how the two persons in our team who avoids getting close to others ended up connecting with each other. I guess it's for the greater good of the team anyway.

Life continued on for the four of us. Eventually as time passed, Aya started to warm up and talked more and more. Although it was still difficult to get a complete sentence out of him. Even so, he was improving.

It was tending flowers during the day, and back to being stained with blood during the night. I'm really happy that I'm not undergoing through all f this alone. I'm glad there are others, my friends, whom I can count on when something goes out of hand. I'm happy we're all together.

It was amazing how the four of us, four people with shrouded lives, living together and being capable of giving smiles.

People like us, who have killed persons more than we could count, are living and working as florist, tending such beautiful creations with our blood stained hands.

Amazing how we are all bonded strongly by our shattered lives and still being able to wake up the morning after to face other people as if we weren't just murdering someone last night.

It's not a pretty life, but I'm glad I'm not living it alone.

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**Author's Note: **Thank you so much for reading! This chapter is longer than the others. It was also a bit harder to do. Sorry for the long delay. Reviews are very much appreciated! Oh and thanks so much to Aeris for dropping a review! 


	4. Hope

**Author's Notes- **Here it is, the last of the chapters forthis baby. To those who read my story, I want to thank all of you from the bottom of my heart…

**Disclaimer-** I do not own Weiss Kreuz… and apparently, I never will! ...sob…sob…sob…

Regular (Omi's POV)

_Italics _(What happens outside Omi's mnd)

"_Blah, blah..._" (Speech of people outside Omi's mind)

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-Torment-

By: Emitique

"...Hope..."

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_The shop bell placed at the door rings…_

_A customer walks in and browses around…_

_"Hello, good day! How may we be at your service?"_

_The boy flashes a perfect friendly smile, a surefire way to get business moving…_

_After a moment of selection and paying up, the customer leaves through the same door from which he came in, and the sound of the bell ringing is heard once more…_

That was how a typical day at the shop would be like… But other times it won't be as peaceful and smooth as that one. A lot of girls would constantly come and fawn over us, they call themselves our "admirers". They go pay the Koneko Sumu Ie a visit to try and steal a glimpse of us, then they let theirselves lose discipline as some of them constantly try to _touch _and _hug _us. I think they term it "glomping". When they are at the shop, they would call out our names and shout out how _cute_ they think we look.

I'm glad one of the four of us enjoys the attention… But the rest of us aren't like Yohji-kun. We don't enjoy pretending to bask in all of those interest, those girls are showing us. I feel uncomfortable when a lot of them are around, I'm pretty sure Ken-kun does too. And Aya-kun is down right pissed when it comes to those girls.

I feel sorry for those girls, if only they knew who we really were, what we really do, they wouldn't even dare look us in the eye. Maybe they'll even run away as fast as they can whenever they saw any of us. After all, we are assassins, which is a prettier word for "cold-blooded murderers". Heck, I would be terrified at myself too if I was someone else.

I tried to convince myself more than once, that the thing we do is not evil.

Yes, we do kill, but we do that for a very logical reason. We try to help those who are incapable of protecting themselves against all these evils in our surroundings. But that positive outlook on my profession only lasted as long as my innocence did, and it was taken away rather too quickly for my liking. After that, I resigned myself to accepting the fact that I really do commit evil deeds.

I only hope I can look at things the way Aya-kun does, _"it's only work, no need to get all personal and touchy about it. We all have our crosses to bear afterall."_ kind of outlook.

I know Ken-kun still believes that we bring about good things by murdering people, he believes that it is necessary to get rid of the people we kill in order for there to be peace.

I think the main reason Yohji-kun is at this line of career is to be able to protect the welfare of the opposite gender… That, and he also think he kills only because he's told to. He's not taking any responsibility for those lives he took and claims that it wasn't his fault that the guy's face appeared on the T.V. screen when the mission briefing was carried out. He's nothing but an employee, doing his job for his employers.

Out of al four of us, I probably am the one with the crappiest view on what our job entails. Not only do I kill, but I also feel guilty about doing it. I envy all of them for being able to dodge the menacing tentacles of lady guilt. I act like I can do that in front of them to prevent the only important people in my life to worry about me, yet I know that, deep down inside I am hurting, suffering and blaming myself for everything that I did, for every person I killed, or at least helped to kill…

_The roaring of an engine can be faintly heard through the closed shop door._

_It stops and after a moment the shop door opens letting the bell ring once again._

_A brunet walks in and the younger one smiled at the new comer. The older one smiled back and handed the delivery forms back to the honey-blond boy._

'_Oh, so it was Ken's turn to do the deliveries today' was what the minds of those who witnessed the particular scene thought to theirselves._

It's all too late for us now. No matter how routine-like our everyday life may seem to our daily customers, it won't change the fact that we face and cause death regularly.

My life sucks… And just to prove how much it does, there's never been a day in which I haven't thought of ending my shitty life. Can you blame me? I am the one that does all the background work for all the missions Kritiker sends in because the information they provide us with is worse than crap. If we out to the field having only those information, we would serve as food for the sharks.

Having the position of an intelligence gatherer means I get to be the lucky one that finds out everything about our latest prey, not only his daily schedule, his building's blueprint, and business transactions… I also get a glimpse of the man's life when he's not the evil creature that he is. Believe it or not, there is always another side to a coin.

Most times, you won't think a person who does utter evil deeds would have a family that waits for him to return everyday. You also won't think that the family the guy has is very fond of him, or that he's the only one they turn to when it came to support, and they would grieve greatly if that evil man disappeared.

It was always inevitable for me to stumble into finding out those things when I do my researches. So now do you still wonder why I feel guilt eating me up when we do our job? After knowing that I really do cause some innocent people pain by killing one of their loved ones who happens to be the bad person, it's kind of hard to wake up the next day and continue on living…

Now I know that this little world of ours would never be perfect. Even if we eradicate all those evil people to stop their evil doings, it won't stop all the pain other people will feel, those people who have personal attachments to the said bad people that we hunt down regularly. But if we don't get rid of the bad people, for the sake of those who will get hurt if they perish, then those bad people left alive would do bad things and make other people suffer, other _INNOCENT_ people. This is just an endless cycle that not most people are aware of, and it happens just as normally as the human, being able breathe.

Being able to notice this kind of sick cycle drives me to the edge of insanity, and emotional pain and confusion. The only way I could think of to escape being familiar with this torturous cycle, is with _DEATH_…

But thinking about suicide is as far as I get. I never really had a chance to actually try and commit one. Some things are holding me back… wait, let me rephrase that, _some people _are holding me back. What? You're saying you don't know who those ones are? Shouldn't it be obvious?

Who else has importance in this awful life of mine but my comrades? They're the only people that have made significance for me. I don't have to be a rocket scientist to know that they will fall apart without me. If their shock absorber and protective shields would happen to bail out o them, they would end up being cornered to the edge of insanity. I keep everything I know about our preys (their personal lives, that is) to myself only. I do everything to keep them from feeling the same way as I do when we get out and kill. I know that if ever they knew the kind of things that I know, they'd end up hating theirselves and maybe also think of suicide too, just to escape their hatred towards theirselves… That's how I deal with things the way they are anyway…

Having my comrades, my _family_, around me and depending on me to protect them in a way, it makes me feel needed… and I eventually end up thinking over my thoughts about killing myself. It made me convince myself not to go through with suicide much easier. It makes me think that I have a purpose for living, other than be a murderer who causes people pain, but also protector, not just of the innocent ones, but also my cherished friends…

But sometimes, you can't help but realize that you're just fooling yourself to keep away from dying, because in truth, you are afraid to die… Now do you get it when I say I'm almost driven off into insanity? Either that or I'm already at my destination…

_"Omi, you can take a break now, your shift is over… Yohji and I will handle everything from here." The brunet said to the younger boy with a wink._

_The young blond boy smiled warmly and proceeded with taking off his apron. Before he goes out the front door of the shop, he lets another warm smile creep unto his face and call out_

_"Goodbye, I'll be heading out for a while… Take care of yourselves while I'm out!"_

_The two guys left behind the shop just smiled and waved at him, oblivious to the real message of the words their youngest member has made._

_And so the young man walked towards that one place he goes to when he takes a break from his shop duties and allows himself some reflecting time._

Unlike all three of my teammates, I have no right to refuse a mission. It's an unwritten rule. I don't have a signed contract like they do. They all willingly took in the burden of being part of Weiβ, they were asked, and they said yes… I never had the luxury to choose. I was with Kritiker for as long as I can remember, and I know it's very clear that they officially OWN me. If I ever did have a contract, it is one made out of blood and it was signed with my soul, in which my whole life is pledged to, without my liking, awareness, or permission. I am their personal killing puppet, unable to do anything but submit to their biddings.

Sometimes I wonder how much more of life I would be able to take. Would I be able to break free from my demons, both inner and out someday? Would I continue to live a life of treacherous cycle until I get shot or stabbed, or maybe even poisoned in one of those missions I partake in whenever they need or want me to participate?

One thing's for sure, I'll make sure I'd be the first one of the four of us to fall. I won't be able to handle loosing one of my friends. It will be worse than the torture I'm feeling right now. I don't want to be left behind. I don't want to be alone…

Would wishing for the ground to open up and swallow me whole be cliché at a time like this? I want to escape. I want all these dirt I feel on me to be lifted away. I feel so dirty, will I ever be clean again? Have I ever been clean before?

Bright and cheerful… I recall Ken-kun using those words to describe me before, and he seemed so happy when he did. After he said that, I made a promise to myself to keep up the image he wanted so much for me to have. And Aya-kun and Yohji-kun seemed to have adapted that perception of me as well, so I try my best to not let my sunny attitude drop. If it did, all of us would be affected negatively. But I'd be lying if I tell you that I don't get tired of keeping up with my friend's expectations.

Saying that I'm exhausted would be an understatement. If those people don't mean more to me than my own life, I wouldn't bother trying to act cheerful all the time. I feel like I'm pulling teeth. Sure at first it was just as easy as a walk at the park, but as time goes, it's getting harder, and harder to maintain. But I won't give up, for my friends, I'll keep on fighting. Afterall, they kind of made me feel what its like to live a REAL life, a life where there are those who care for you, where you have people to talk to, smile, and laugh with… Even if it isn't perfect, they made my life to be more than just about killing and inflicting pain.

_The skies started to turn grey, thunder could be heard sounding off the distance, lightning began to dance in the dark clouds…_

_The people noticed the signs, it was going to rain. They all headed on their way to find cover. The people in the playing park all left, most of them dragging their little kids along who were so stubborn and wanted to stay to play some more._

_During all this buzz and hassle, one figure seemed to not be interested in finding shelter for the upcoming rain._

_The young blond man continued to sit on one of the swings of the play ground, his eyes devoid of any sign of awareness and of any emotion._

_Some people notice this, but did nothing… 'Hey, if he wants to get soaked by the rain then let him…'_

_The blond boy continued to sit while thinking and contemplating silently to himself about all the matters in his life…_

_Not long after every last person has cleared the park, the rain poured. Each drop of the icy needle-like form of water caused a sting to occur in his body, but he remained unmoving, as if numb to everything there was on the world._

I don't know how I picked up this habit, this habit of sitting by myself and thinking about things… But it helps me clear my head, even if just slightly. Because of this, I'm able to remind myself about a lot of things.

I'm able to remember the reasons why I must stay alive, the reasons why I decide to do what I do, the promises I made in the past, and that I mustn't be a coward and think of taking an easy way out of any problem.

Life's not fair to everyone, not just to me… I just happen to be one of the ones whose life is awfully filled with so much crap. But there's nothing I could do but face those crap and do my best while doing it, and also try hard to make the right decisions.

There's nothing much I can do but to not lose hope…

_The rain stops, and as the sun begins to shine, the soaked boy made his way back to where he belongs, to his family…_

Afterall, how can a person lose something he never had in the first place?

_The shop bell placed at the door rings…_

_A drenched figure walks in and closes the door behind him._

_**"I'm home…"**_

-THE END-

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**Author's note: **It's finally done. I really wanted this one to have this kind of ending. Just to try it out. Thanks so much for those who read and more thanks to those who reviewed (AERIS, & Tuli-Susi) Reviews are still and always will be, very much appreciated! 

**-Emi-chan-

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